The transition from depression to inspiration

Entry from my journal Feb. 4, 2006

Some sort of depression has gripped me and I feel dull, almost as if my image in the world is slightly fading. I see people around me talking and going about their business but they are also fading…, and then I hear it. "The women were great but you couldn't get much of a lap dance" says a voice coming out of this dazed state I am in and I anchor myself back to reality as I associate this voice to its source; the chubby guy sitting at a table directly behind me. Inspiration pours into my body warming my blood and making my image solid again.

Later I went back to my studio and finished a painting I have been working on for four months. I stayed up all night in order to finish it. Inspiration for me seems to be preceded by depression. The severity of the depression can almost gauge the intensity of the inspiration. I would imagine that states of happiness can also lead to inspiration yet I think that it is ultimately preceded by depression. It seems that the things that depress me have a more profound influence on what motivates me. Rossen Daskolov has some interesting things to say about this in his interview. How does inspiration come to you?